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Horse Guillotine: Stephen F. Austin State drops 70 points in 1st half against NAIA team

Axe ’em, Jacks!

Week 1 of college football kicked off Thursday, as many teams played teams in lower divisions as them as a warm-up for what’s ahead. While that was a lot more difficult for certain teams than others, there was undoubtedly one game that went ten times more smoothly than all of the others.

Despite going 3-8 last season, the Stephen F. Austin State Lumberjacks have historically been a successful FCS program, often making the short list for new FBS expansion. On the other side of the field, NAIA’s North American Stallions started their football program less than five years ago, and have been one of, if not the worst teams in their division. Obviously, this is quite the tough matchup, but I’d like to get a frame of reference.

2016. Columbia, Missouri. A P5 bottom feeder destined to go 4-8 hosts an underfunded HBCU from the worst conference in FCS.

0

79

FINAL

Now, here’s what happens when a top-tier D1 team meets NAIA’s worst:

0

42

1st

0

70

2nd

0

77

FINAL

Yeah. Doesn’t end well. But you might be wondering: “Why are you comparing them to Mizzou? They only scored once in the 2nd half, only going up to 77.”

Well, they were on pace to make that blowout look like a close game in comparison. The sudden drop-off in scoring is because the refs made the outrageously boring decision to do 5-minute quarters with a running clock, shortening the second half to a total of ten minutes. What a buzzkill! I wanted 100!

The Lumberjacks travel up to Denton next week to face the Mean Green Eagles of North Texas, while North American heads home to prepare for a blowout at the hands of Wayland Baptist.

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