Author’s note: This is gonna be a long one. And I don’t have any pictures. You have been warned.
Introduction
Gateway seemed unstoppable. 35-0, 41-0, 60-14, 54-0 – all of these were final scores throughout their seemingly flawless 9-0 regular season.
But then came Union.
Union was 3-7, having barely beaten Owensville in the Tank Bowl earlier in the season, and then St. James the week after, before losing to Hermann, and then beating Roosevelt in the district quarterfinal. Needless to say, they were not doing well, as evidenced by the result of their game with rival Pacific.
And yet, they were one 2-point conversion away from giving Pacific a home game, as they went to Gateway, and took them down to the wire, losing 14-13. As we watched the game film in my sports history class Monday, we slowly started to realize that the Jaguars weren’t the untouchable juggernaut we previously thought they were. Knowing that, I began to look at their resumè. A sort of background check, if you will.
Which provided some damning evidence.
After taking a look at the stats of the teams they played, it became apparent that the were a bona fide “eye test” team. A team that looks good on the surface, but once you take even the slightest bit of a closer look, you realize that they suck, and that they suck BAD.
The average winning percentage of Gateway’s opponents is 29.3%. On average, that would be a 3-7 team. Which checks out, given that their toughest game was against a rock-bottom Union.
The average points scored/allowed of their opponents is 15.61-33.35. This means, that on average, Gateway’s opponents lose every game 33-16. Which does not look good for Gateway, whose strongest opponent is 5-5 Miller Career Academy. You know who does look good, though?
Pacific.
Game Preview: Pacific Indians
The Indians are coming off of a huge upset win against their rivals, the Sullivan Eagles. Led by junior QB Seth Stack and his impeccable knowledge of Congressional redistricting, the Indian offense averages 35 points per game, just narrowly beating out Gateway’s 34.5. So far, Stack is 93/182 on completions, throwing for 1,278 total yards and a total of 21 touchdown passes. His run game is almost equally as impressive, with 867 yards and 9 TDs. These factors have all led to him receiving the honor of being named to the All-Four Rivers Conference 2nd team.
Also headlining the offense is All-FRC 2nd team junior RB Colton Kossuth, who currently leads the team in scoring with an impressive 90 points so far. Further proving his dominance at rushing are his 938 rushing yards, coming to an average of 8.1 PPG and 82.27 rush yards per game. With these stats in mind, HBS Sports predicts that Kossuth will surpass both 100 points and 1,000 total yards this season, an incredible feat for any high school athlete.
Kossuth is also a great punter, punting for 710 yards so far this season (41.76 yds avg.).
Other offensive heavy-hitters include 1st team All-FRC senior wide reciever, kicker, and kick returner Kade Collins, with 380 receiving yards. On the line is 1st-team senior OL Aiden Dickey.
Moving to the defense, we go back to Aiden Dickey, who also plays on the D-line. Boasting 49 tackles and 5 sacks, Dickey is a machine that will take down anyone, regardless of who has the ball. 1st-team senior LB Trey Kulick is also a tackle machine, having tackled somebody 102 times this season, an incredible feat.
Heading down the ladder is junior safety Brock Webb, who was snubbed from the All-FRC team, allegedly due to character issues. He has 91 tackles. But, even further down, we have freshman Gavin Haddox, receiving an honorable mention on the all-conference team. In the game against Sullivan, he returned a kick for a 91-yd. TD, which is nearly unheard of for a freshman. In fact, there is a case that I need to make.
Editorial: Why Kade Collins is a fraud
Kade Collins was named 1st-team kick returner. Which seems pretty fair, until you take a look at Gavin Haddox. You see, I get all of my player stats from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch (you can look at Pacific’s here). I originally thought that Kade was the best returner, but as it turns out, he’s a FRAUD.
Kade has 99 total return yards. 51 on kickoff, 48 on punts. He has zero touchdowns.
Gavin Haddox has 332 return yards and a HUGE kick return. In fact, Kade isn’t even in 2nd. He’s also surpassed by Jacob Avilez, with 134 RtY.
Case and point – conference was smoking something.
Continued: Pacific’s defense
Haddox has 56 tackles and a sack.
Game Preview: Gateway STEM Jaguars
Properly looking at Gateway now, their offense is led by senior quarterback Marquis Sutherlin, who is nowhere near as good as Stack. Sutherlin has only recorded 790 yards and 4 TDs, going 44/92 on completions.
Instead, they go with a rushing offense, headed by Anthony Rayner, who has…
…752 yards. A school record for Gateway. You can’t make this shit up.
And their best defenseman, senior Terrence Mitchell, has 43 tackles. 13 less than a freshman. I’m not even gonna give them the time of day anymore. They are AWFUL. Gateway STEM is strictly an eye test team, and even then, they’re not good at that. Any research automatically exposes them as frauds. There is no way we aren’t winning this.
Pacific will visit Gateway STEM to defend their title tonight at 7. Tickets must be purchased online on the MSHSAA website. Minors must have an adult sit with them. Do not park your car there. It will be robbed.
Roll Tribe.
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